Bizarre Little Thrift Store Finds: Christmas Edition

So the boyfriend and I went on a random thrift shopping adventure yesterday.  He just wanted to browse and I was on the lookout for belted sweaters.  Christmas is fast approaching and the boyfriend is always rather cold.  As per usual, while he browsed the video games and textbooks (yes, the boyfriend eagerly checks out the textbooks at the thrift stores), I wandered around in search of bizarre and interesting things that one could only hope to find in a second hand store.  This trip was not a disappointment and because of the approaching holidays, the stores were chock full of wonderful Christmas items to see.

First up, a stocking.  But no just any stocking.  This was home made…with latch hook.  I find that the eyes are the creepiest thing about this stocking.  Santa either has deep dark patches underneath his non-existent eyes or his eyes themselves are nothing but dark, black frightening patches, not unlike a shark who is about to devour his prey.  This stocking must have frightened many a child back in the day on Christmas morning.

I would be terrified of this on Christmas morning

Another creepy thing I spotted was something I’m assuming was supposed to be an angel of some sort.  However, it seems as if the male angel has a female angel growing out from the side of it.  I mean LITERALLY out of the side of the male.  She’s got one arm and then her mid-waist connects to his side and they freakish Frankenstein stitches are covered by some kind of shield.  It’s like a Christmas science experiment gone wrong.

Yes, melded together at the side...so creepy

Elves are a jolly lot.  They’re happy and bouncy and oh so fun and dancy, right?  Well, not this elf.  This one is completely demented.  It’s got weirdly smeared lipstick and googly eyes and these odd little eyebrows.  With his sparkly little hat and shiny green tights, I would be very suspicious of this elf if he were working in Santa’s workshop.

I feel as if he's looking into my soul....*shudder*

A theme I noticed while browsing the Christmas wonders on all the shelves was Santa statues holding geese.  It was odd because I wondered why Santa would be holding such a thing.  Then it occurred to me that perhaps, Santa was delivering these birds to be eaten as Christmas dinner.  Which is all well and good, I’m by no means a vegetarian.  I love turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas and the occasional Easter dinner.  So I understand the concept of perhaps eating these cute little geese for dinner.  My problem with this is, they seem so happy to be hanging out with Santa and if they ARE food, then he’s delivering them up for slaughter.  It kind of seems mean.  If he’s going to be delivering food to people, it should be dead before hand.

The poor unsuspecting geese

In one of the stores, there were a bunch of little statues of kids playing in the snow.  There was nothing particularly odd about them individually, however, two over them were placed on the shelf in such an unfortunate manner that I couldn’t help but share the amusement with the rest of you.

Someone was not paying attention at the store when they put these on the shelf.

The last thing I found that day was just something that was quite odd to be sitting on the shelf at all, let alone with all the Christmas ornaments.  A Coke bottle.  A little glass coke bottle with actual coke in it.  Just sitting on the shelf, happy as can be.  It was just odd.

WTF???

So yes, these were my Christmas adventures in thrift store land.  I will, of course, be keeping my eye out for any other marvelous treasures as well as belted sweaters.