An Open Letter to the Moron Living on My Floor…

One of my most hated things about living in an apartment is dealing with the other people living in their own little boxes around me.  For the most part, I have found that my neighbours are great but something that really grinds my gears about living on a floor with 13 other apartments full of people is the other peoples’ use of the garbage chute.

Granted, our garbage chute is smaller than in other buildings I’ve lived in, but it’s not that hard to realized that once the garbage bag is a certain amount of the way full, you then must replace it because anything else won’t fit down the damn chute.

I don’t know how many times I’ve taken our trash to the little room where the garbage chute is and found it jammed with someone else’s garbage.  Most of the time it’s a bag with diapers in it so shame on the lazy ass parent who is teaching their child to be a useless tool in life as well.  Like we need more of those running around.

It’s not even just jamming the chute…I could deal with that with limited rage if it was only that.  However, most of the time some idiot has broken the whole door right out of the wall and it’s hanging there by chains.  Worse, the other day it was just lying on the ground and completely destroyed.  I don’t even know how something like that happens but we only live on the 4th floor.  It’s not that hard to take the elevator down to the basement and throw it in the dumpster if it’s obviously not going to fit down the hole in the wall.

The absolute worst this mystery jerk did was break a glass jar (obviously putting recycling down the garbage instead of into the bins).  There was glass all over the floor in the chute room as well as spread all out into the hallway in front of the elevator.  So at this point it’s just a safety hazard.

I really have no point to this post rather than I’m sure The Boyfriend is sick of hearing about the horrid person on our floor that keeps doing this every time I take the garbage out.  I thought about leaving a scathing note but as of yet I haven’t been quite that angry yet.

What the Heck Happened to Halloween Costumes?

I remember Halloween when I was a kid.  I remember costumes that we threw together with thrift store items or bits and pieces left over from old costumes stored in a Rubbermaid box under the stairs.  I recall one year when my grandmother made me a costume of an angel and I believe my sister was a devil.

I was in the mall last year around Halloween and some company had rented out an empty space for the month of October and set up a Halloween store so The Boyfriend and I decided to peruse and see what was up.  They had some awesome makeup, props, and accessories but the thing I couldn’t believe was how much the costumes had become all about guys getting fun and creative costumes and girls getting costumes that showed the most amount of skin and really didn’t make any sense at all regarding the supposed “theme”.

For example, I give you the two wizard (read: Harry Potter rip-off) costumes I spotted.  As you can see, the male version is quite good.  It looks like the movies did.  The female version, however, is somewhat…off:

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Now I’m not a prude and I’m all for sexy costumes if someone desire to wear one, but I don’t understand why the guy gets to wear the actual GOOD looking costume and the woman is stuck either wearing the male version if she actually wants to look like the movie character, or she had to parade around with her ass cheeks hanging out in close to freezing weather.  It’s Canada up here, people…we used to have to wear costumes that would fit over snow suits.  It’s freaking cold on Halloween.

Another example we stumbled across was an M&M costume.  Yes…the candy that apparently will not melt in your hand (I still call shenanigans on this) somehow managed to be turned into a sexy costume.

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My problem with this?  IT’S NOT A FREAKING COSTUME!!  It’s a skin tight tank dress with a picture of an M&M on it.  It’s like when you were little and you’d get the cheap costume with a picture of superman on the smock and a cardboard picture of his face with a crappy elastic around your head and you’d have to pretend to be Superman looking like a weanie in a plastic blue smock and a mask that broke in five seconds.  And you don’t look like a weanie in this one…you look like a chick wearing a bar dress with a stupid picture of an M&M on it.  NOT a costume…dress with a picture of what your costume was supposed to be.  There is a difference.

Just to emphasize my point, I give you the following comparison.  Again, the guy’s costume actually LOOKS like what the character is supposed to be, and the chick is wearing a tiny, short dress with a picture of the desired character pasted on the front of it.

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I am of the opinion that if you want to wear something “slutty” for Halloween, dress like something that is supposed to look that way.  I don’t understand taking the name of whatever you want to dress like, putting the word “sexy” in front of it, and then destroying what the concept of the costume was supposed to be in the first place.  For example, in the Batman universe, Harley Quinn (on of my favourite characters) is always sexy.  I’ve seen her in the jester costume and I’ve seen her in the awesome outfits she wore in Batman: Arkham Asylum and Batman: Arkham City (Google searches for pictures here and here.  A “sexy” costume of her would make sense.  A sexy costume of Robin, The Boy Wonder?  That just doesn’t make any sense to me:

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Heck, one of those even has a picture of Robin in the bottom corner and honestly, I don’t see his boobs popping out of the costume.

I don’t know…honestly I prefer to still make all of my costume with odds and ends from the thrift store.  I love picking through the racks and finding the perfect item to go with the concept and pulling it all together to take the wee tots trick or treating.  I still have a giant Rubbermaid bin of all the costumes I’ve had in the last ten years in the storage closet (much to The Boyfriend’s chagrin) just in case I need to use something from a past outfit and I love it.  I think it’s great to see people dressed up in original costumes or things they made themselves.  It seems like there’s so much more care and fun put into it.

I know it’s a month early and all but Trick or Treat everyone…hope you all have a great Halloween and get your hands on massive amounts of candy!!

Disney Blu Ray is a Rip Off!

I love Disney movies.  Who doesn’t, right?  We all grew up watching the classics like The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin.  Two out of three of the previously mentioned films were recently re-released in theatres in 3D for the enjoyment of a whole new generation of people (and let’s face it, the enjoyment of the previous generation as well).

While I didn’t get the chance to go and see The Lion King when it was released again, I did have the pleasure of re-experiencing Beauty and the Beast in all it’s glory on the big screen.  Something I hadn’t been able to do since 1991 when it was first released and I was only 8 years old.  I was annoyed by the 3D because it was distracting and pointless, but experiencing that movie again on the big screen literally brought tears to my eyes.

So of course, I wanted to purchase a copy for myself before Disney threw the movie back into their horrid and hated vault.  I HATE the Disney vault but that’s a topic for another post at a later date.

I trotted on down to the nearest Walmart and went straight to the Disney section, excited to own a copy of Beauty of the Beast for the first time since owning it on VHS.  Yes, that’s right…VHS.  My excitement at spotting my bounty was short-lived, however, when I saw the price tag stuck onto it.

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Yes folks, that’s right.  The price was actually $36.93.  My jaw fell to the ground and I literally said out loud, “Are you FREAKING kidding me?!?”  I then stood there for a long time and studied the Disney Blu-Ray section of the movies in Walmart, slowly coming to a realization.  They were all insanely priced.  Now I know that Disney movies have always cost a little more than your typical film and, in my opinion, this was alright because they were always top-notch productions that lived on pretty much forever.  But to be requesting almost $40.00 of my hard earned money was asking a bit too much.

I studied the section a bit more and made another discovery.  All of the films in the Blu-Ray section for Disney were not just Blu-Ray discs.  They all included the Blu-Ray, the DVD, and a digital copy.  This, my friends, is bullshit.  They’re charging large sums of money to essentially buy three copies of the same damn movie all at once.  I don’t know who thought this up, but they’re either a marketing genius or the scum of the earth; quite possibly both.  We don’t need 3 copies of a movie.  NOBODY needs 3 copies of any movie at all…ever.

So I looked around for just the Blu-Ray copy, because that’s all I wanted.  I did not want three copies of one movie…I wanted the Blu-Ray because it’s a beautiful movie and one I deem worthy of paying the already too high price (as compared to DVD) of buying it on Blu-Ray.  But it doesn’t exist.  If you want a Disney movie, you HAVE to purchase three copies of it.  I even saw a version that also included the 3D version as well.  So you were getting FOUR copies in that one.  Eventually I broke down and bought three copies because I was terrified of missing my chance and finding out it went back into the vault before I got my hands on it.  Have I mentioned how much I LOATHE the Disney vault?

I spotted another film I’ve wanted to own since it’s release as well.  I saw the movie Up.  Then I saw the price.

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Yup…$39.93.  No freaking way.  I paid too much for Beauty and the Beast because I love that movie and it makes me feel like a kid again.  There’s no way I am going to pay that kind of money for new Disney movies.  It just won’t happen.  So I left Walmart without Up and went home, hating Disney just a little for their shenanigans and thievery.  Later, I ended up finding a treasure trove of Disney DVDs and Blu-Rays at a used video store and scored them all for under $15 dollars each, including Up which had the Blu-Ray, DVD, and digital copy.

So this is my message to Disney.  I love your movies.  I have ALWAYS loved your movies.  However, I will never purchase your movies for the prices you ask for them based solely on the fact that you threaten us with taking them away forever and hoarding them in your stupid vault like a bully.  Please pay attention to what I have to say next, Disney, because it’s very important.  You will get far more of my money if you come to your senses and charge reasonable prices for them and make them more widely available.  I may have forked over the cash for Beauty and the Beast, but that’s the exception.  It’s a childhood nostalgia thing and nothing more.  Your movies aren’t worth $40 dollars and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

What I Hate Most About Winter

I haven’t written anything in quite a while.  I’d love to blame work and overtime and having an active and fulfilling life, but for the most part, I’m really just a boring and sometimes very lazy person.  In the last few months, this has massively intensified and I just didn’t have the motivation to write something.

So when I sat down tonight and decided to actually write a blog post for once, I decided to go with the topic that is becoming more and more relevant to me lately: the things that I can’t stand about winter.

Now don’t get me wrong, I actually quite like winter.  I don’t mind the cold and I think the snow is beautiful.  I love my Snuggie and cups of warm tea while I watch movies and snow days are always awesome.  But like any person, there are always two sides to the same story and there are certainly things I can’t stand about winter.

1. Deceptively cold steering wheel: Frankenbob has a steering wheel that is so very innocent looking.  This is a lie.  In the cold weather, unsuspecting me will get into my car, put my seat belt on, turn my key and then, to my sudden shock and dismay, I’ll put my hands on the steering wheel and instantly feel as if they’ve frozen there, never to be removed again.  I HATE cold steering wheels.  Therefore, I have a very nice pair of red woolly mittens to keep this from happening.  The crappy thing is, sometimes I forget my mittens and I have to drive somewhere with hands that feel as if they’re numb all the way to the bones.

cold steering wheel

2. A Whiney Boyfriend: as soon as it starts to get cold, The Boyfriend immediately starts to protest this fact.  Out loud.  Constantly.  I know very well he doesn’t like the cold and that many people don’t.  I don’t like it when it’s especially cold out either, so I understand.  However, we live in freaking Canada and it gets cold here every year.  I don’t understand how it seems appropriate to whine about something that happens every year around the same time.  That’s why we have winter clothing and boots and coats.  To stay warm.  I find these items quite effective if they are adorned properly.

3. People who forget how to drive the instant snow hits the ground.  I grew up in a very small town.  This means I had to learn how to drive in a very small town and that included dirt roads with drifts of a foot or more of snow crossing the road at random intervals.  It means huge gusts of wind creating whiteout conditions on the roads where there was nothing to block the snow and it meant that winter driving was always a little bit of a trial.  Then I moved to the city and it was great.  The buildings block the wind so there aren’t any drifts across the road and whiteout conditions are pretty much non-existent.  However, it seems that people who learned to drive in the city think things are a little more dangerous than they actually are.  As soon is it snows here, people freak out.  They either drive twenty kilometers below the speed limit or twenty over it.  They’re hesitant when they shouldn’t be and way too ballsy when the weather is horrible.  It’s like driving through a gauntlet of morons who forget that it snows every year and yes, they have driving in this mystery substance before.

stupid drivers

4. Girls who wear mini skirts and tiny tank tops to the bar…and then bitch about it being so cold out: This is something I simply cannot stand.  I don’t go to the bar very often anymore (again, because I’m lazy and not often all that motivated) but it was one of the things I hated the most about it when I did go.  Standing in line or walking down the street and hearing tiny little girls whine and bitch about how cold it was.  Then I would turn and see them standing in the snow and sleet, in temperatures that were below zero and they were wearing extremely short skirts, shirts that left nothing to the imagination and tiny little shoes.  Now, I have no problem if people want to wear something so revealing, it’s none of my business.  However, they are either too stupid to be out and about on the streets without a guardian or too stubborn to realize that cold weather warrants warm clothes.  So either way, I have no sympathy for them and never let them cut in line when they asked.  Because they should have dressed more appropriately.

stupid girls with no clothes

Bob the Car is Now…FrankenBob!

So I’ve already conveyed the Woeful Tale of Bob the Car to you a while ago.  As an update to that, after the steering column was repaired, Bob the Car had been running absolutely perfectly with no problems at all.  In fact, I was starting to think that I was in the clear for any problems at all with my nice little car.

Boy was I wrong.

About two months ago, my sister called me and asked if I could watch my nephew while she ran out to get groceries.  She also asked if she could borrow my car because her boyfriend had to use theirs for something or other.  I of course said yes because I love to watch my nephew and I like to be helpful.  So I went there after work and chatted for a bit before she headed out in Bob the Car to get some food.  Her boyfriend was still there getting ready and I was playing in the living room with the baby when I heard his cell phone ring.  I then heard him say, “Are you okay?”

The first words that went through my mind were, “That’s so not good” and after I heard him ask, “What about the other girl?” my suspicions were confirmed.  My sister had been involved in an accident not even two blocks from her apartment.  He came out to tell me what was going on and asked me if I could stay with the baby while he went to go see what was going on.  I agreed and he left me to pace back and forth while carrying the baby, worrying about my sister and whomever else was in the accident.

About twenty minutes later my sister called me and I was relieved to find out that she was alright and so was the other girl.  After that it was a blur of having the car towed somewhere to store, talking to the insurance company, talking to the appraiser, deciding which body shop to send it to once it was decided it could be fixed, talking to the rental car people, renting a car and then waiting to see whether my sister was at fault or the other girl

Thankfully for us, the other girl admitted liability and her insurance company paid for everything including my rental and the $9000.00 it cost to fix my car.  It was in the shop for almost a month and I had to drive around the city in a freaking TWO-DOOR Hyundai Accent (it was lime green, which was awesome) with none of the awesome features that my own car had.

I went to get the stuff out of my car before they fixed it and this is what my poor car looked like:

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After waiting for what seemed like forever to get my car back and riding around in a stupid two-door (for the record, i HATE two-door cars because they SUCK), I finally got the call that my car was finished and I could pick it up.  I think they did a great job.

It looks perfect on both sides and it runs beautifully.  However, I just had to take it in to get the ignition coils 1313010433139replaces (thankfully under warranty) because they were misfiring and causing my engine to run rough.  So I have renamed my car to FrankenBob because there are hardly any original parts left on the car.

Fashion Trends Drive Me CRAZY!

Most people who know me (and probably many who don’t and simply pass me on the street) would definitely not call me a fashionista.  I’ve never understood the different fashion trends that have been in style during my almost 30 years on this Earth.  I was born in the 80’s so I’ve definitely seen some of the weirder ones and I’ve spent my twenties in the new millennium and I’ve spent the entire time completely confused by what people were wearing around me.

The three most recent fashion trends that absolutely baffle me are as follows: Uggs

Uggs: I can’t freaking stand these boots.  I don’t understand why people think these are appropriate winter footwear as they seem to get wet and let water in very easily and don’t have very good tread for walking on ice.  Couple that with giant grey track pants stuffed down into the boots with an arbitrary saying written across the ass of the co-ed stupid enough to wear them and it makes for a very sloppy look indeed.

skinny jeansSkinny Jeans: As a bigger larger okay, okay…fat person, skinny jeans aren’t really an option for me so you may be saying, “Why do you hate something you can’t even wear?”  I’ll tell you folks…because they don’t look like anyone should wear them…ever.  They look uncomfortable, unbending and generally like they would chafe in some very tender areas (this goes double for guys whom it boggles the mind that they could even shove their bits into those things).  Remember, I was a child of the 80’s; I swore I would never put those darn things on and I still have not to this day.  I’ve heard rumours that flares are coming back and I’m giddy with anticipation and excitement to say goodbye to skinny jeans…making everyone look anorexic since their invention.

Rubber Boots: I cannot stress enough how much these are not a fashion item people.  They are footwear designed rubber bootsfor walking around in copious amounts of filth and animal droppings.  Suddenly, they’re trendy and pretty and people are wearing them on nice days to look cool.  Meanwhile, I can’t understand why someone would pay upwards of $70 to walk around in something designed to walk through shit in.  This has to stop, people…or next you’ll be telling me that insulated overalls are all the rage and there will be people walking about looking like they just came out of the barn but they spent over $200 dollars on the outfit.

Some other honourable mentions are: giant sunglasses that obscure the entire face, Ed Hardy things, and hats in which the beaks are not bent appropriately and are turned sideways and massively askew.  I still stick to the timeless fashion that I’ve always worn since I was but a wee little tot…a t-shirt and jeans with running shoes and in the summer, a tank top and shorts with flip flops.  This always seems to be at least acceptable style-wise and always easy to find in the store.  Also, I never look back at pictures of myself and thing, “What the hell was I thinking”, because I know that I was thinking I looked pretty good in my normal jeans and a tee.