Bizarre Little Thrift Store Finds: Christmas Edition

So the boyfriend and I went on a random thrift shopping adventure yesterday.  He just wanted to browse and I was on the lookout for belted sweaters.  Christmas is fast approaching and the boyfriend is always rather cold.  As per usual, while he browsed the video games and textbooks (yes, the boyfriend eagerly checks out the textbooks at the thrift stores), I wandered around in search of bizarre and interesting things that one could only hope to find in a second hand store.  This trip was not a disappointment and because of the approaching holidays, the stores were chock full of wonderful Christmas items to see.

First up, a stocking.  But no just any stocking.  This was home made…with latch hook.  I find that the eyes are the creepiest thing about this stocking.  Santa either has deep dark patches underneath his non-existent eyes or his eyes themselves are nothing but dark, black frightening patches, not unlike a shark who is about to devour his prey.  This stocking must have frightened many a child back in the day on Christmas morning.

I would be terrified of this on Christmas morning

Another creepy thing I spotted was something I’m assuming was supposed to be an angel of some sort.  However, it seems as if the male angel has a female angel growing out from the side of it.  I mean LITERALLY out of the side of the male.  She’s got one arm and then her mid-waist connects to his side and they freakish Frankenstein stitches are covered by some kind of shield.  It’s like a Christmas science experiment gone wrong.

Yes, melded together at the side...so creepy

Elves are a jolly lot.  They’re happy and bouncy and oh so fun and dancy, right?  Well, not this elf.  This one is completely demented.  It’s got weirdly smeared lipstick and googly eyes and these odd little eyebrows.  With his sparkly little hat and shiny green tights, I would be very suspicious of this elf if he were working in Santa’s workshop.

I feel as if he's looking into my soul....*shudder*

A theme I noticed while browsing the Christmas wonders on all the shelves was Santa statues holding geese.  It was odd because I wondered why Santa would be holding such a thing.  Then it occurred to me that perhaps, Santa was delivering these birds to be eaten as Christmas dinner.  Which is all well and good, I’m by no means a vegetarian.  I love turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas and the occasional Easter dinner.  So I understand the concept of perhaps eating these cute little geese for dinner.  My problem with this is, they seem so happy to be hanging out with Santa and if they ARE food, then he’s delivering them up for slaughter.  It kind of seems mean.  If he’s going to be delivering food to people, it should be dead before hand.

The poor unsuspecting geese

In one of the stores, there were a bunch of little statues of kids playing in the snow.  There was nothing particularly odd about them individually, however, two over them were placed on the shelf in such an unfortunate manner that I couldn’t help but share the amusement with the rest of you.

Someone was not paying attention at the store when they put these on the shelf.

The last thing I found that day was just something that was quite odd to be sitting on the shelf at all, let alone with all the Christmas ornaments.  A Coke bottle.  A little glass coke bottle with actual coke in it.  Just sitting on the shelf, happy as can be.  It was just odd.

WTF???

So yes, these were my Christmas adventures in thrift store land.  I will, of course, be keeping my eye out for any other marvelous treasures as well as belted sweaters.

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A Potential Turkey Disaster

Well friends, as discovered in a previous post, I’m not exactly a chef extraordinaire.  I have things that I make and I definitely kick their metaphorical butts, but sometimes, when venturing outside the realm of my comfort zone of food preparation, things can go a little astray.  I only bring this up because tomorrow, the boyfriend and I are going to be having a little Thanksgiving dinner here at our house, just us and another friend.  This may not sound like too big of a deal, and usually it wouldn’t be, but disaster struck at the grocery store today when I stopped after work to buy the actual turkey.  They were out of Butterball, pre-stuffed, self basting, cook from frozen turkeys.

Now, a little background on the need for this particular kind of turkey, they’re very user friendly.  It’s not that I don’t have the potential to be able to work with a normal turkey, stuffing all that bread up it’s hind end and basting it myself, it’s just that when it comes to cooking a large meal with lots of components, with the main part of it taking HOURS to cook, I need something that can handle the fact that I’m easily distracted and likely to wander away and forget the stupid thing is in there.

For the last two Thanksgivings, Butterball has saved my butt in this respect because the boyfriend and myself split all the other food chores in half and the turkey sat in the oven, happy as a bug that escaped the big squish, cooking away with no intentions of sucking up all my attention.  I only had to check on it once in a while and possibly use the baster thing to pour some liquid over it and keep it from drying out.  Butterball is a happy, self-sufficient turkey.

I love this turkey...made just for the absent-minded cook!!

Because of the lack of the desired type of turkey, I searched around for a while before I finally chose a fresh one so I would at least not have to defrost the stupid thing overnight, and put it in the sink of water like my mother always did and still have it be partially frozen because it NEVER FREAKING DEFROSTS!

This is the point in the shopping trip at which I cursed The Real Canadian Superstore for their lack of hand sanitizer in the meat section as one of the fresh turkeys somewhere had leaked disgusting turkey blood all over the rest of them and now they were all covered with it.  So then I had to spend the rest of my shopping trip selecting things without touching them…no easy task.  Luckily, the nice girl at checkout had some sanitizer at her station and the problem was solved.

So, stay tuned for an update on whether or not the turkey joints the ranks of The Doom Cake and Pizzapocalypse or if it turns out to be a delicious Thanksgiving dinner for all.