SEA BUGS REDUX!!!

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Okay, this is Tim. Tim is a lobster and yesterday, I met him before I then dropped him headfirst into a pot of boiling water. Firstly, they don’t scream like some people say they do. Secondly, they were an interesting thing to eat for the first time. Theres a lot of cracking and breaking of shell involved and it freaked me out a lot.

I will say this, Tim turned out to be a girl and I found this out when it was pointes out to me that the read stuff inside was eggs and I should gobble it up because its delicious. I switched to steak at that point…

Weird Food Quirks: Texture

Yes folks, that’s right…there are still a plethora of things on my list of weird food quirks.  Today’s shameful admission is food textures.  The kinds of food I will eat is severely dictated by the texture of said foods.

For example, I freaking love bananas.  The flavour of them is delicious, the smell is intoxicating and I desperately would love to be able to eat one.  However, I simply cannot.  For some reason, the texture of bananas makes me gag and I can’t swallow them without choking.  So I must appease my cravings with banana flavoured things instead.  Banana bread and muffins are the best, banana flavoured suckers come in a close second and recently, I have discovered banana flavoured Arrowroot cookies.  Delicious.

Pudding goes in the same category as bananas.  The goopy texture makes me gag and I can’t swallow it.  Jell-O, however, I’m all over.  I love Jell-O in all it’s delicious flavours.

I also don’t think food should be liquidy.  This is a problem for the consumption of soup and soup-like products.  I have, however, come up with different methods of making these foods less soup-like.  For example, with actual soup, the solution is simple.  LOTS of crackers.  So much that it then becomes soup-flavoured mush.  With things like stew, the solution is a lovely loaf of french or italian bread.  We always called it fancy bread and Mom would buy it special whenever she made stew or potato soup so we could all dip it in the soup juice (yes, I call it soup juice).   This solved the problem nicely as it would soak up the juice and leave me with the delicious and flavourful filling (noodles, veggies, meat, etc…).

Something I absolutely hate is food that mixes textures.  If the main part of a dish is a certain texture, I can’t stand biting into it and finding another texture hidden inside.  I detest when there are crunchy things inside a pasta dish.  So I put things like mushrooms and chicken into my pasta and if I end up somewhere that has crunchy veggies in it, I pick them out and eat them separately.

I will say that the boyfriend has slowly gotten me to like a little bit of cut up celery in my tuna sandwiches and I’ll eat lettuce on a burger now, but that’s as far as he has progressed in that area of trying to change my eating habits.  It’s a slow process but I think he’s determined to widen my horizons.  I, however, am perfectly happy with my narrow view of food consumption.

Weird Food Quirks: Dishes and Utensils

Now, I know that technically, dishes and utensils aren’t food and some people would argue that having quirks regarding said objects doesn’t count as a food quirk.  However, this is my blog and I’ll write however I please.  I feel that these objects are the main conveyance of my food and therefore, play an important role in it’s consumption.

Alright, first up…bowls.  I like bowls for the simple reason that I am less likely to shoot my food across the table when it is contained inside a bowl.  This does not mean that I eat things like steak or turkey dinner in a bowl, but I do prefer more than just soup to be served in one.  For instance, I always eat my pasta in a bowl.  Many a noodle has flown off a plate, flung accidentally at the unfortunate people sitting around me.  Bowls are safe…they keep your clothing stain free.  Spaghetti sauce is not your shirt’s best friend.  This has caused a few tiny arguments between the boyfriend and I, as he is a plate pasta person but likes us to eat on the same type of dish.  I don’t know the reason, I’ve never asked.  Despite his many attempts, I refuse to give up my bowl-ish ways and he always begrudgingly serves my pasta in one while he loads up his plate.

There are degrees to bowls as well.  Some are just better than others for the more liquid like foods.  For instance, soup should never be served in one of those shallow bowls with the wide brims.  They need to be served in what my mother refers to as “cereal bowls”.  Which are deeper and have no lip.  They are just all kinds of bowl.  Which is why I call them “bowly bowls”.  Much to my family’s utter confusion when I request one from the cupboard.

Moving on to utensils, I have one thing that I really dig my heels in about.  We have one fork out of all of our forks that I like.  Only one.  It’s the best fork in the entire house and I refuse to eat with anything else if I can help it.  It’s just so much better fork-wise than all the others.  It has the perfect length of prongs, they’re nice and narrow and I like the pattern on the handle because it doesn’t have rough edges that bother me when I hold it.  The problem is, the boyfriend also likes this fork.  I don’t know what his reasoning is, but I suspect it is the same as mine.  So I grab this much sought after fork at the beginning of meal preparation and I hide it until it’s time to eat.  If he takes it, I steal it off his plate.  If it’s dirty in the sink, I will wash that one single fork rather than take a clean one from the drawer.

BEST FORK EVER!!!

Cups.  In our house, there are many different kinds.  Coffee, beer pint, small, large, plastic, glass…there are a lot to choose from.  I have a few of my favourites, I’m not as particular about them as I am about the other dishes, however, there are ones that I will not use.  Thick glass cups are on the banned list for me.  They’re too heavy and big and cumbersome and no one should have to go through so much effort just to have a drink.  I don’t like coffee cups that slant.  I like the perfectly cylindrical ones that go straight up and down.  This is a safety issue.  Over there years, I have discovered that I spill hot coffee on myself far more often from a slanted cup than from a cylindrical one.

A visual warning of the danger of slanted coffee cups.

So that’s pretty much it.  There are other small things here and there.  I have my favourite bowl for popcorn or the one cookie sheet I like to use, but everyone has that.  I don’t like being served in a restaurant on plates that aren’t normally shaped because then I can’t figure out the best way to position my dish before I eat and this causes a little bit of panic, but not so much that I’ve ever freaked out in a restaurant…yet.