Bizarre Little Thrift Store Finds: Christmas Edition

So the boyfriend and I went on a random thrift shopping adventure yesterday.  He just wanted to browse and I was on the lookout for belted sweaters.  Christmas is fast approaching and the boyfriend is always rather cold.  As per usual, while he browsed the video games and textbooks (yes, the boyfriend eagerly checks out the textbooks at the thrift stores), I wandered around in search of bizarre and interesting things that one could only hope to find in a second hand store.  This trip was not a disappointment and because of the approaching holidays, the stores were chock full of wonderful Christmas items to see.

First up, a stocking.  But no just any stocking.  This was home made…with latch hook.  I find that the eyes are the creepiest thing about this stocking.  Santa either has deep dark patches underneath his non-existent eyes or his eyes themselves are nothing but dark, black frightening patches, not unlike a shark who is about to devour his prey.  This stocking must have frightened many a child back in the day on Christmas morning.

I would be terrified of this on Christmas morning

Another creepy thing I spotted was something I’m assuming was supposed to be an angel of some sort.  However, it seems as if the male angel has a female angel growing out from the side of it.  I mean LITERALLY out of the side of the male.  She’s got one arm and then her mid-waist connects to his side and they freakish Frankenstein stitches are covered by some kind of shield.  It’s like a Christmas science experiment gone wrong.

Yes, melded together at the side...so creepy

Elves are a jolly lot.  They’re happy and bouncy and oh so fun and dancy, right?  Well, not this elf.  This one is completely demented.  It’s got weirdly smeared lipstick and googly eyes and these odd little eyebrows.  With his sparkly little hat and shiny green tights, I would be very suspicious of this elf if he were working in Santa’s workshop.

I feel as if he's looking into my soul....*shudder*

A theme I noticed while browsing the Christmas wonders on all the shelves was Santa statues holding geese.  It was odd because I wondered why Santa would be holding such a thing.  Then it occurred to me that perhaps, Santa was delivering these birds to be eaten as Christmas dinner.  Which is all well and good, I’m by no means a vegetarian.  I love turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas and the occasional Easter dinner.  So I understand the concept of perhaps eating these cute little geese for dinner.  My problem with this is, they seem so happy to be hanging out with Santa and if they ARE food, then he’s delivering them up for slaughter.  It kind of seems mean.  If he’s going to be delivering food to people, it should be dead before hand.

The poor unsuspecting geese

In one of the stores, there were a bunch of little statues of kids playing in the snow.  There was nothing particularly odd about them individually, however, two over them were placed on the shelf in such an unfortunate manner that I couldn’t help but share the amusement with the rest of you.

Someone was not paying attention at the store when they put these on the shelf.

The last thing I found that day was just something that was quite odd to be sitting on the shelf at all, let alone with all the Christmas ornaments.  A Coke bottle.  A little glass coke bottle with actual coke in it.  Just sitting on the shelf, happy as can be.  It was just odd.

WTF???

So yes, these were my Christmas adventures in thrift store land.  I will, of course, be keeping my eye out for any other marvelous treasures as well as belted sweaters.

Bizarre Little Thrift Store Finds

My friend and I recently made a day of thrift store shopping, going from one store to another and wandering around.  She had some specific things in mind that she needed for some crafts she was planning and I always check for the usual: video games, interesting books, DVD’s, etc…  However, I kept stumbling upon these bizarre little things that just cracked us up and I felt the need to share it with all of you.

First up, a couch.  This was no ordinary couch.  This was the tackiest couch I had ever seen.  It wasn’t covered in flowers like you’d find in an old woman’s apartment, covered in plastic and not able to sit on…this was quite the gem.  It was what appeared to be red velvet cushions and the base and arms were made of some kind of gold-painted metal that was crafted in a lumpy and odd looking style.  I can’t imagine it would ever be comfortable to sit on this couch and perhaps this is why it ended up lonely and sitting in a thrift store, waiting for some eccentric oddball to take it home love it.

A stunning find, all velvet and gold, a masterpiece of oddity.

Another strange thing to see at this same store  was a shelf full of sports trophies.  I get why people wouldn’t want them sitting around at home, I used to have a bunch of them from playing baseball when I was a kid.  You know, the generic ones, if your team won the tournament, everyone gets a trophy.  Every year, someone gets an MVP trophy, there’s the sportsmanship award, the best team player, the one who didn’t cry, whatever they could come up with so everyone felt special.  Eventually, you really don’t want them in the house because, at least in my case, I didn’t care really.  I kept any kind of awards that really meant something, but the rest of them, I believe, were thrown out.  It never occurred to me to donate them to a thrift store, because honestly, I would never imagine why someone else would buy someone’s trophies with their names and accomplishments all over them.  That just seems weird and oddly twisted.

A weird little collection of other peoples' accomplishments

Now we come to some artwork.  I will admit, when it comes to artwork, everyone has different tastes.  Some people like the Mona Lisa and others like Dogs Playing Poker.  Personally, I prefer Van Gogh and the occasional paint by number.  This first example I found at a local Goodwill and it actually kind of scared me.  It wasn’t frightening in a good artistic way, it was rather chilling.  There are many people out there with a fear of clowns and I know that this picture isn’t actually of a clown, but I think that it would qualify into the same category and scare those with that phobia.  There are three very creepy faces, what appears to be paint flying about in the wind and I can’t decide if the guy in the picture has an oddly squished piece of clothing on his chest of if they are actually oddly shaped breasts.  The face in the sun is really creepily sitting on the guy’s butt and every time I look at this picture, I get a squidgy feeling in my stomach…kind of like the first time you watch the movie Stephen King’s It.

One of the creepiest pictures I've ever stumbled across

The final item, my dear readers, could be considered somewhat controversial.  It’s a religious item of sorts, and there’s nothing against that at all, it’s just the weirdness of the item itself.  Black velvet overlay with coloured tinfoil underneath to show a religious message.  It’s not the message or the concept at all…the whole thing just looks so freaking tacky.  I can’t even describe how tacky this thing is, so I will just insert the picture into this post and let you judge for yourself.

A tacky, obviously hand made art piece

I just couldn’t picture this thing hanging on the wall in any house I’ve ever been in.  I don’t see how it would ever match any decor in any place I’ve ever set foot.  Also, where did they get that picture of Jesus and was it wrong to cut it out of the place it came from?

Stay tuned for other interesting finds as I simply adore thrift store shopping.  I’m eager to search out and find more oddities to share with the world.