An Open Letter to the Moron Living on My Floor…

One of my most hated things about living in an apartment is dealing with the other people living in their own little boxes around me.  For the most part, I have found that my neighbours are great but something that really grinds my gears about living on a floor with 13 other apartments full of people is the other peoples’ use of the garbage chute.

Granted, our garbage chute is smaller than in other buildings I’ve lived in, but it’s not that hard to realized that once the garbage bag is a certain amount of the way full, you then must replace it because anything else won’t fit down the damn chute.

I don’t know how many times I’ve taken our trash to the little room where the garbage chute is and found it jammed with someone else’s garbage.  Most of the time it’s a bag with diapers in it so shame on the lazy ass parent who is teaching their child to be a useless tool in life as well.  Like we need more of those running around.

It’s not even just jamming the chute…I could deal with that with limited rage if it was only that.  However, most of the time some idiot has broken the whole door right out of the wall and it’s hanging there by chains.  Worse, the other day it was just lying on the ground and completely destroyed.  I don’t even know how something like that happens but we only live on the 4th floor.  It’s not that hard to take the elevator down to the basement and throw it in the dumpster if it’s obviously not going to fit down the hole in the wall.

The absolute worst this mystery jerk did was break a glass jar (obviously putting recycling down the garbage instead of into the bins).  There was glass all over the floor in the chute room as well as spread all out into the hallway in front of the elevator.  So at this point it’s just a safety hazard.

I really have no point to this post rather than I’m sure The Boyfriend is sick of hearing about the horrid person on our floor that keeps doing this every time I take the garbage out.  I thought about leaving a scathing note but as of yet I haven’t been quite that angry yet.

Advertisements

Bob the Car is Now…FrankenBob!

So I’ve already conveyed the Woeful Tale of Bob the Car to you a while ago.  As an update to that, after the steering column was repaired, Bob the Car had been running absolutely perfectly with no problems at all.  In fact, I was starting to think that I was in the clear for any problems at all with my nice little car.

Boy was I wrong.

About two months ago, my sister called me and asked if I could watch my nephew while she ran out to get groceries.  She also asked if she could borrow my car because her boyfriend had to use theirs for something or other.  I of course said yes because I love to watch my nephew and I like to be helpful.  So I went there after work and chatted for a bit before she headed out in Bob the Car to get some food.  Her boyfriend was still there getting ready and I was playing in the living room with the baby when I heard his cell phone ring.  I then heard him say, “Are you okay?”

The first words that went through my mind were, “That’s so not good” and after I heard him ask, “What about the other girl?” my suspicions were confirmed.  My sister had been involved in an accident not even two blocks from her apartment.  He came out to tell me what was going on and asked me if I could stay with the baby while he went to go see what was going on.  I agreed and he left me to pace back and forth while carrying the baby, worrying about my sister and whomever else was in the accident.

About twenty minutes later my sister called me and I was relieved to find out that she was alright and so was the other girl.  After that it was a blur of having the car towed somewhere to store, talking to the insurance company, talking to the appraiser, deciding which body shop to send it to once it was decided it could be fixed, talking to the rental car people, renting a car and then waiting to see whether my sister was at fault or the other girl

Thankfully for us, the other girl admitted liability and her insurance company paid for everything including my rental and the $9000.00 it cost to fix my car.  It was in the shop for almost a month and I had to drive around the city in a freaking TWO-DOOR Hyundai Accent (it was lime green, which was awesome) with none of the awesome features that my own car had.

I went to get the stuff out of my car before they fixed it and this is what my poor car looked like:

1311024288157frankenbob

After waiting for what seemed like forever to get my car back and riding around in a stupid two-door (for the record, i HATE two-door cars because they SUCK), I finally got the call that my car was finished and I could pick it up.  I think they did a great job.

It looks perfect on both sides and it runs beautifully.  However, I just had to take it in to get the ignition coils 1313010433139replaces (thankfully under warranty) because they were misfiring and causing my engine to run rough.  So I have renamed my car to FrankenBob because there are hardly any original parts left on the car.

That Robax Puppet is a Freaking Liar

Do you remember this guy?  That little wooden marionette with pins in his back that keep him from dancing and enjoying life altogether?  Yeah, that’s the one.  He’s an effing liar.

Stupid little man with pins in his back

A week ago tomorrow, I hurt my back.  It was stiff from a long day of moving things and sitting in a new chair and I simply went to sit down in the afternoon and suddenly there was blinding pain from my lower back down to my knees and that was it.  Pinched sciatic nerves on both sides and I was barely able to walk.  I took some Robax and guess what?  Those white hot little pins in my back laughed in it’s face and continued to plague me.  Thursday saw me in the hospital getting much, much stronger pain medication and now here we are, almost a week later and I’m just able to move without massive amounts of pain.

Not that I’m saying Robax doesn’t work at all, it’s great as a muscle relaxant and I’ve used it for that many times.  I’m just saying that the stupid man with the pins in his back is a liar and I’m calling him on his shit.  The pins are still there, little man…they are STILL there.  Screw being able to ballroom dance, it’d be nice to walk upright again.

I’m glad I don’t have cable, because if I saw that stupid little puppet on my television, my nice flatscreen might end up with the remote right through it.  Back pain is not a happy little fix. You can’t just pull the needles out and go on your merry way.  Every movement is like shooting torture right down your spine and through your legs.  I have to get the boyfriend to help me dress in the morning and help me to the bathroom and everything else you can imagine.  I hate to cook, but I feel guilty that he has had to cook everything for the last week.  I hate that I’ve had to eat it lying on the couch and I detest that I haven’t been able to sleep in my own bed in six nights.

To make matters worse, I was working from home this morning, sitting in the reclining leather chair when the back of it broke and sent me flying backwards.

So my back pinched again.  I have since recovered and now refuse to ever sit in that chair again and am plotting it’s eventual demise and replacement with something with less murderous intent.

I believe I’m on the road to recovery (knock on wood).  I was able to work still after the chair incident and though I’m stiff and I have twinges here and there, I’m not in agonizing pain anymore.  We shall see what the morning brings and maybe I could actually get my but into the office and get some work done there!!  I never thought I’d be so excited by the prospect.

Bluetooth Etiquette: What Not to Do When Playing Online

As previously noted here, I have recently gotten back into first person shooters and I’ve been playing the crap out of Call of Duty: Black Ops.  I never knew I could have so much fun playing online with strangers.  I was a little intimidated at first because I’d heard stories about people being mean or condescending over the Bluetooth, especially if you’re a girl.  However, my gamer tag isn’t overtly feminine and I never had anyone razzing me about anything at all, so I kept playing.

Eventually, because there were a few folks that I would group with from The Games Day Podcast on Sunday night for SLAM, I decided to get the boyfriend to hook up the Bluetooth he had received for Christmas so I could converse with them when we were playing Domination or some other team based game option.

Since then, I have noticed a few things that are more than annoying when it comes to people and their Bluetooth use.

For instance, if you’re going to have your Bluetooth on and picking up sounds…don’t be eating food.  We can hear you chewing and it’s distracting and gross.  All you have to do is point the microphone away from your grinding jaws for the duration of your eating so we can play the game in peace.

Another horrid annoyance is people who have music on in the background.  Guess what?  We can hear that too and not all of us like your music selection.  I wouldn’t go about making you all listen to the soundtrack to some musical I like, so why do I have to listen to crappy rap music in which only the heavy bass beat and some tinny sounding lyrics float through my television speakers to piss me off?  Either turn the stereo off or turn off the headset…it’s only polite.

Pets and children.  Let’s establish something.  If your dog is barking continuously in the background, you should probably figure out why and make that stop.  If you are one of the jerks that has pets and ignores them, give your pet to someone who will love and pay attention to it.  If there’s something wrong that is causing your dog to bark, that probably requires your attention more than the game.  And if you have kids yammering on in the background so close to your headset that I can hear what they’re saying, slap yourself.  This is one of those games that kids aren’t supposed to be playing/watching.  That’s why there’s a rating system.  If you decided you were responsible enough to raise a kid, prove it.  Wait till they’re in bed or otherwise occupied to play a game with killing like this one or guess what?  You don’t get to play.  You are a parent first and a pwner of noobs second.

Just because it happened to me the other night, I’m throwing this one out there.  I don’t need to have the Bible quoted to me during a game where my sole purpose is to kill other people.  That’s just weird and creepy and, if you’re in there playing that same game…rather hypocritical.  Scriptures have no place in online first person shooters.

This last one is rather like the stereo comment, but since it just happened tonight, it gets it’s own paragraph.  If for some reason you have two televisions in the same room and you happen to be playing COD and someone else (or perhaps yourself, we all  have a little ADD) happens to be watching the other television with the volume on high, turn the freaking Bluetooth off.  Yes, I’m talking to you, guy from tonight.  I did not need to hear every word of what was being watched on your other television tonight while I was playing.  I didn’t need to hear stupid commercials floating through my television speakers instead of the actual sound effects of COD.  I didn’t need to hear the other person in the room with you talking while you sat with your Bluetooth on and said nothing about the game at all.  What is the point of having Bluetooth hooked up if you’re not using it to actually communicate with other people in the GAME?  You’re only irritating the rest of us and ruining the experience for the whole group.

Whether people realize it or not, those Bluetooth microphones pick up a heck of a lot of background noise if you’re not careful and while sometimes it’s an accident, ten straight minutes of someone else’s television audio is cause for an uprising.  I got rid of cable for a reason and I don’t want to have to listen to someone else watch television while I’m trying to survive a round of Free for All.  Do us all a favour and turn off the microphone if you’re not going to use it for it’s intended purpose.

Sick and Tired of 3D Movies

Being a huge geeks and loving old school Sci-Fi, the boyfriend and I were totally psyched when we saw the first trailer for Tron: Legacy in March 2010.  Well, we finally got around to seeing it last night and it was as I thought it would be.  Definitely not as epic as the original, the story line was predictable and some parts took too long.

However, this is not a review of the movie.  This is a massive complaint about something else that is haunting our cinemas and has been for quite some time…3D movies.

Let’s face it, people.  This is just something people are cashing in on left and right because people are buying into it.  It’s been going on for a long time and I can’t say as there have been any movies so far that have really impressed me as of yet save one.  Resident Evil: Afterlife had some kick ass 3D and it was kind of cool to experience it.  Zombie brain matter sticking to the glasses?  That was a pretty kick ass effect.

That being said, I wouldn’t have cared if it wasn’t in 3D.  I loved the previous three just as much, probably better, without it.  I detest paying an extra $4.50 for my movie ticket to sit through a film with those stupid glasses on my face to see something in 3D that would have been more enjoyable without.  Guess what?  I saw Avatar in a theatre where they didn’t play 3D and I’m glad I did because it wouldn’t have been worth it.  The movie was only really “Meh” to me and I’d have been livid to pay four extra dollars to see it.

I got a $25 gift card from my sister and her boyfriend to the movies for Christmas and I still had to tack on $3.5o for us to see Tron last night.  I was pissed off.  3D films are annoying in many ways.  I find it distracting from the movie.  I hate it when something pops out of the screen and travels around and then disappears because it left the side of the screen.  That takes away from the fantasy for me, then I get annoyed, and then I miss stuff in the movie because I’m stewing in my annoyance.  Also, I wear glasses.  If you don’t, then you have no idea how difficult it is to wear those honking big, stupid, plastic glasses over a set of glasses you have to wear to see anything, just to see the movie because if you’re not wearing them, the movie is blurry and you get a headache.  If you don’t wear your prescription glasses, the movie is blurry and you get a headache.  So either way, you’re screwed.  You end up sitting there with your head slightly tilted back so the plastic ones don’t fall off your nose because you can’t push them up any more because your prescription glasses are in the way…

Ugh, I just had a moment of rage thinking about it again.  I hate those stupid glasses.  I detest the fact that I have to pay extra money to be able to use them for a movie that I don’t want to see in 3D and then I have to give them back because I’m not allowed to use them again.  I have to pay another $4 for another pair of glasses that I hate for yet another movie I don’t want to see in 3D.

Sometimes, you have a choice and you can see the movie in 2D.  I always take this choice.  I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 in 2D and it was freaking awesome.  It didn’t need 3D…it’s Harry Potter.  I wish I had been able to see Alice in Wonderland in 2D because I didn’t enjoy it and I paid too much to see something I didn’t enjoy.

I hate that every trailer I see now says “In 3D” for any kind of movie…even those that having them in 3D is just a stupid concept.  I could see it for the computer animated movies, they look kind of neat in 3D.  I can see if for ones with huge and spectacular special effects, though I would probably still choose 2D when they give me a choice, but if they start bringing out chick flicks and dramas in 3D, I’m done with movies forever.  Or at least until they take the 3D away…

The Boyfriend’s Restaurant Review

The boyfriend recently wrote a Facebook note about our experiences in our local restaurants. We’re constantly on the lookout for a restaurant we both like and can visit often when we’re feeling peckish but it seems in our town, we’re cursed to really only find ones that are very average or horrible. I’m accepting of our city’s failure to provide delicious food at decent prices but the boyfriend is not. The following is his take on the restaurants we’ve visited in the last couple of years. Here and there I’ve inserted my own comments in bold when I felt it was necessary.

Is it really that hard to find a restaurant in London that is truly exceptional? Apparently so… here’s my restaurant review roundup:

NOTE: I’ve starred my personal favourites.

Archies Fish & Chips

Archies is your average fish & chips place. The food is generally good, but not exceptional. It has a friendly relaxed (casual) atmosphere.

  • Taste: Average-Decent.
  • Portions: Good.
  • Price: Average.
  • Service: Good.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Rating: 3.5/5 (Decent).

We did the breakfast buffet on a Sunday once and it was the strangest thing to have fish products included in a breakfast buffet. However, it was surprisingly delicious.

Bernie’s Bar & Grill

Decent bar & grill.

  • Taste: Average-good.
  • Portions: Fair.
  • Price: Average-good.
  • Service: Good.
  • Presentation: Good.
  • Comments: Bernies was my favourite bar & grill for a while. Until they changed their suicide wings so they now taste more like “not even moderately spicey” wings. Also their battered mushrooms are way too greasy.
  • Rating: 3/5 (Meh).

I will say that Bernie’s has a really good spinach and artichoke dip and their potato skins are marvelous.

Big City Diner (Big City Bistro)

Located where East Town pizza use to be is a steaming pile of a restaurant which I have no idea how they stay in business.

  • Taste: Meh.
  • Portions: Small.
  • Price: Awful.
  • Service: Atrocious. People who came in AFTER me were served first, had to wait forever for a pathetically small meal that was overpriced and tasted average.
  • Presentation: Meh.
  • Comments: This is the worst dining experience I’ve ever had in London. Congratulations on being London’s crappiest restaurant.
  • Rating: 0/5 (Worst Place Ever).

This place was awful. I ordered a hamburger and sweet potato fries and the burger was dry and small and there were about twelve sweet potato fries. This lovely little (and I stress LITTLE) cost me $15.

**Coras

Amazing delicious breakfasts served with fresh fruit.

  • Taste: Excellent!
  • Portions: Large.
  • Price: Decent.
  • Service: Excellent, friendly, they keep the coffee full 🙂
  • Presentation: Beautiful.
  • Comments: Coras is hands down my favourite breakfast restaurant in London and one of the few places that I am never let down by. IMHO it may be slightly more expensive than some other breakfast places, but the quality and the service makes it worth it.
  • Rating: 5/5 (Exceptional).

I freaking love Cora’s. Their Eggs Benadictine is phenomenal and their breakfast potatoes are so tasty smothered in white cheddar, onions and ketchup. It is a little pricey but considering the quality of the food, the atmosphere and the very friendly staff, it’s totally recommended. I agree with the boyfriend. Our server from the first visit recognized us on the return trip and commented how nice our comment card was. This place it totally awesome.

Crabby Joe’s

Your average bar & grill. Generally does not disappoint, but occasionally screws up royally.

  • Taste: Generally Good.
  • Portions: Decent.
  • Price: Okay.
  • Service: Poor.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Comments: Crabby Joes is a decent bar & grill and they have very good cheese fries (when they don’t screw them up which is about 50/50).
  • Rating: 3/5 (Average).

I have eaten several things off the menu and my favourite thus far is the spinach and artichoke dip. It’s delicious and always nice and hot. Boyfriend is right, depending on when you go and how busy it is, the service can really suck, however. Waiting forever for cheese fries that have way less than the one you ordered last time is kind of a bummer.

East Side Mario’s

Hey badda-boom-badda-meh!

  • Taste: Average:.
  • Portions: Average.
  • Price: Too much (IMHO).
  • Service: Poor-Average.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Comments: Nothing really impressed me with East Side Mario’s. It’s pasta, it’s priced average to somewhat high, there’s better options.
  • Rating: 2/5 (Sucks).

I kind of have a little soft spot for East Side’s because I worked there as a host for a year when I was in school. I had great times with fun people, and I definitely had my favourite dishes to eat (Mario’s potatoes…mmmmmm). However, having gone back since and seeing that they changed the menu and the way they prepare some of my fave foods, I haven’t been back since then. I think it’s become a nostalgia place.

Golden Griddle

Relaxed casual atmosphere, attentive friendly waiters, large portions, breakfast buffet.

  • Taste: Average.
  • Portions: Large.
  • Price: Average.
  • Service: Great.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Comments: Golden Griddle was my favourite breakfast place until I discovered Coras. It’s still not bad. I’ve never had bad service there and you get large portions for average prices. However, I’ve often had my food served luke-warm such that it gets cold while I’m eating it.
  • Rating: 3.5/5 (Decent).

I like this place, but honestly, it’s on the other side of town and we can get to Cora’s much faster when we have a hankering for breakfast food. Mmmm….breakfast food…

Jack Astor’s

Yet another average bar & grill.

  • Taste: Okay.
  • Portions: Average.
  • Price: Average-Slightly high.
  • Service: Average.
  • Presentation: Decent.
  • Rating: 2.5/5 (Meh).

This place is one of my personal favourites to actually visit with my friends from work at lunch for their lunch specials. They’re so damn good…especially with a beer.

**The Keg

Quality steak, pricey but delicious.

  • Taste: Excellent.
  • Portions: Very good.
  • Price: Very High 😦
  • Service: Excellent.
  • Presentation: Great.
  • Comments: The Keg is the only place I’ve had steak that didn’t disappoint me. However, you get what you paid for so prepare to have your wallet emptied.
  • Rating: 4/5 (Great, only -1 because of the price).

The Keg rocks…that is all.

Kelsey’s

The epitome of mediocre. If you love bland & average you’ll love Kelseys.

  • Taste: Average.
  • Portions: Average.
  • Price: Average-Meh.
  • Service: Average.
  • Presentation: Average-Meh.
  • Rating: 2.5/5 (Meh).

I used to be a total spaz for the balssalmic chicken penne…but again, they changed the recipe and now i just don’t care. I also rate it a meh.

Mandarin Chinese Buffet

For the cost to get in, I’d expect food with flavor!

  • Taste: Bland, bland bland.
  • Portions: N/A (buffet).
  • Price: High.
  • Service: N/A (buffet).
  • Presentation: Well, the buffet is nicely presented.
  • Comments: The Mandarin is grossly overrated. Everything is bland. Learn 2 spice.
  • Rating: 2.5/5 (Meh).

Nuts to the boyfriend, I love this place. Of course, he always says I like bland food. Personally I think he only likes food that so hot he can’t really taste the food.

Montana’s Cookhouse

Average American style cuisine (Steaks, Burgers, etc.).

  • Taste: Okay.
  • Portions: Average.
  • Price: Meh.
  • Service: Awful-poor. Waited over an hour for my steak which was overdone and child-size.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Rating: 2/4 (Sucks).

Boo, they removed the Jack Daniel’s glazed salmon from the menu. I disapprove. Also, the moose and deer heads from the commercials kind of creep me out. Though we went there for a work birthday once and the birthday girl had to wear giant moose antlers while they sang…so that was pretty awesome.

A happy birthday was had indeed

Milestones

Fancy restaurant, popular, expensive at least the food was good.

  • Taste: Good.
  • Portions: Somewhat small.
  • Price: High.
  • Service: Average.
  • Presentation: Excellent.
  • Comments: Milestones is a decent place go if you’re looking for something fancy and not necessarily concerned about price and/or getting full. Also, having to wait with a beeper to get in sucked!
  • Rating: 3/5 (Okay).

Freaking expensive and a little too trendy for my tastes, but the food was delicious. We didn’t have to wait very long with the beeper, it was not a travesty of epic proportions in the least. I had a gift card from work for Administrative Professional’s Day, so that’s why we tried it out.

Smoke N Bones

Southern style chicken & ribs cooked in a smoker.

  • Taste: Okay.
  • Portions: Small-Average.
  • Price: Meh.
  • Service: Poor-Average. Never asked if I wanted a refill.
  • Presentation: Average.
  • Comments: They have four of their own bbq sauces, but none of them are hotsauce? (wtf?) They were out of ribs when I went there which is what 90% of their menu contains.
  • Rating: 2.5/5 (Meh).

I don’t like spicy food…at all. I don’t really like southern cooking and they were out of ribs. So this pretty much sucked for me.

Smoke’s Poutinerie

All poutine, all the time.

  • Taste: Fail, how can you be an all poutine place with awful gravy?
  • Portions: Large.
  • Price: Decent.5196702353
  • Service: N/A
  • Presentation: It’s poutine!
  • Comments: Thrilled at the chance to try bacon on poutine I rushed to this place only to discover they have possibly the worst poutine gravy I’ve ever had and really if that’s all you serve, screwing it up is an epic fail.
  • Rating: 1/5 (Fail).

Contrary to popular belief, bacon does not make all things better. I thought I was going to throw up after about six bites of this. I gave all my bacon to the boyfriend and I still didn’t really enjoy the poutine.

Spaghetti Eddie’s

It’s pasta, what more do you expect!?

  • Taste: It’s spaghetti.
  • Portions: I expected more considering how dirt cheap it is to make spaghetti.
  • Price: Spaghetti is so cheap/easy to make there should’ve been more of it.
  • Service: Good.
  • Presentation: Good.
  • Comments: This place has a very unique atmosphere to it, but it’s cramped and for the cost I expected a lot more spaghetti. IMHO if you want pasta stay at home and make it, you’ll get 3x the amount (leftovers yay!) for half the price.
  • Rating: 2.5/5 (Meh).

Boyfriend is right, pasta is pasta and if you’re going to specialize in it, it should be better than this was. It was too expensive for what we got.

**The Symposium Cafe

Relaxed environment (comfy chairs!), friendly attentive service, high quality yummy food.

  • Taste: Excellent.
  • Portions: Good.
  • Price: Good.
  • Service: Good.
  • Presentation: Good.
  • Comments: I’ve only ate here once, but was very impressed. Look forward to going again. It seems to me like the perfect place for lunch.
  • Rating: 4.5/5 (Very Good!).

I loved this place.  Their desserts are amazing….I had the cheesecake and it was so delicious.

**Tiger Jacks

Tacky atmosphere, good food with decent prices and good weekly specials. I love the atmosphere. There are stuffed tigers, tiger paintings and all kinds of the same all over the place. On Halloween, they dressed the tigers up. It was awesome.

  • Taste: Good-Very good.
  • Portions: Good.
  • Price: Fair.
  • Service: Good.
  • Presentation: Average-Good.
  • Comments: I’ve been to Tiger Jacks 3-4 times so far and they haven’t really let me down. The steak was kinda small, but the ribs and pizza were delicious.
  • Rating: 4/5 (Good).

I love the food here. The prices are decent and I’ve never been disappointed. The ribs were amazing and their ceasar salad is freaking awesome.
So there you have it.  We keep trying new places but most of them fail to provide what we’re looking for.  Also, I’m not really completely sure what we’re looking for at all, so that really doesn’t help.  I think we’re looking for huge helpings of delicious food at prices that don’t kill my bank account.  I’m starting to think that this may not really exist.  If anyone from around here has any suggestions of where to eat, let me know and we’ll check them out.

The Worst Things to Do In a Snowstorm

Given that it is snowing again here in our lovely city and there is already talk of snow days tomorrow, I have decided to be as helpful as possible to certain people who will be out and about tomorrow and let them know what they should NOT be doing during this beautiful yet somewhat treacherous weather.

For all of those who will be driving tomorrow and first must relieve their vehicles of accumulated snow…finish the job.  I empathize with the feeling of laziness in the morning, I really do.  I do everything I can the night before to make sure I can sleep in as long as possible.  I shower the night before, I take portable food with me instead of making breakfast, and I generally just throw my very long hair back into a pony tail and forget about it but when it comes to clearing off my car, I will make the time.  When there is almost a foot of snow on top of a car, that needs to go.  Driving around with that kind of snow on top of your car is dangerous and stupid and when I see people who have only cleared the snow from their front and rear windshield and left it piled on the hood, roof, and trunk of their car, I always wish for the power to incapacitate their vehicles somehow and force them to pull over (safely of course) to the side of the road.  I hate being buffeted with gusts of snow from vehicles who’s owners were too lazy to clear it off and I always find it frustrating and unsafe to be in that situation.  So bite the bullet and clean off your damn car.

The amount of snow on my car during the recent snow storm - yes, I cleaned it ALL off

People who drive too slow really irritate me as well.  Guess what?  A half a foot of snow isn’t that bad.  You are more of a traffic risk going 30 Km in that than you would be if you were just driving at a normal speed in a cautious manner.  Grow a pair and realize that you have driven in snow before and, should you choose to remain living here, you will drive in it again next year.

People who drive too fast, in contrast, are insane.  There comes a point in the weather up here when you DO slow down and if you don’t, no matter what kind of tires or number or wheels that drive your car, you are an asshole.  Where other people are being cautious and courteous drivers, you’re risking us all because you have to get where you’re going ASAP.  As a Canadian, your impolite driving upsets me.  People here understand that there is snow and you might be a little late.  It happens, deal with it.  If need be, sacrifice a half an hour of sleep and get up a little earlier.  You’ll save yourself an accident or two.

But none of the three that precede this last one are even comparable.  What is the final on my list of annoying people in winter storms is the worst and most horrid offender of all.  Pedestrians who walk on the road.

What on earth is wrong with you?  Do you have any idea what kind of danger you’re in while you’re tromping along in the snow?  I’m sorry, but get the hell off the effing road.  I know that the sidewalks are usually the last things to be plowed and trudging along on them when the snow is up to your knees is annoying and cold; trust me, I’ve been there.  However, that’s where you are supposed to be.  Realize you live in a cold winter climate and buy some snowpants and appropriate footwear.  Wading through the snow is better than being hit by a car.  If it is snowing really badly, we can’t see you.  If the road is slippery, we can’t stop fast.  A fender bender isn’t so bad.  I can deal with a dent in my car.  You are not a car, you are a fragile human being and you’re going to get your dumb ass killed.

I know why you’re on the road.  At least, some of you.  I see the stupid Uggs you’re wearing and I would just like to say…GTFO.  Leave Canada with your stupid, inappropriate boots and don’t come back.  If you live somewhere with snow fall more than a couple of centimetres at a time, buy some damn boots that are insultated and have traction.  It’s a safety issue.  Uggs have no grip, no ankle support, and no warmth in the cold, wet snow.  Buy some snowmobile boots and stop being such a diva.  Uggs are fine in the fall and the spring or for wearing around inside.  Canada in the winter is not a fashion show…it’s wet and dangerous and you should have better boots.  Stop it!

Good advice for winter pedestrians

So, with the freezing rain falling down outside my window and the prospect of having to drive to work in the morning, please heed my advice and follow it appropriately and we’ll all get where we’re going on time and alive.